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Sneak Peek {Family}: Phillip, Kimberly, and Lila

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This is the first session I’ve had to do on two separate days (due to bad weather on the first)! And this family was so awesome about coming back the second time! They were so laid back and cooperative (something I don’t know that I could boast given the same situation). Lila will be turning one soon and she is such a beautiful blue-eyed baby! Phillip and Kimberly, thank you for all the effort you put into this session and for being so easy to capture! Happy Birthday, Lila! (Oh, and Happy Father’s Day, Phillip!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sneak Peek {Newborn}: Asher Ray K.

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It was so special to be able to photograph Asher this weekend! Not only did I go to daycare with his mom but we went to school together through highschool! It’s amazing to see people I’ve known for so long grow up and have children!  On top of that Asher came into the world as his great-grandmother was leaving it.  He brought such a special joy to his family during a difficult time.  This is a super sweet couple with a super adorable baby, and they make fantastic parents! Kira, I think you are a wonderful mother and Asher is so blessed to have you! Happy (belated) 1st Mother’s Day!

Be A Baby and Grow Up Already!

The past few weeks, I’ve noticed my tolerance level decreasing and my impatience increasing for my oldest daughter, Peanut. It seems she has regressed behaviorally, stalled academically, but she’s an expert at manipulation, lying, and being an overdramatic, babyish little…well, brat. I hate using that word, but really, she is. Don’t get me wrong, she has her moments where she is the most wonderful, loving, caring, sweet, nurturing, well-behaved child that ever walked the planet. Usually, it’s when we’re out somewhere so I’m pretty thankful for that. However, being a stay-at-home mom, I’m home with her most of the time and that’s where the action is.

I just keep telling Bloke that I can’t wait until Peanut can do this, that, or the other on her own. I can’t wait until she stops asking crazy questions like “Why can’t I marry my brother?”, “Why is it not ok to shoot people?” and “How is God everywhere and in Heaven?” I can’t wait until she can make her own food, pack her own lunch, dress herself (every day, every time), brush her own teeth, wipe her own bottom, eat with a fork and knife all the time, and clean.

Bloke keeps telling me she’s “FOUR YEARS OLD.”  Most of the time I could care less about how old she is when I am irritated.  I just want it to stop.  But after some reflection, I realized that all these things I want her to do or not do, all the ways I want her to behave, all the questions I want her to stop asking…these are all things that will happen as she grows up.  I’m wishing her life away because it’s convenient for me.  It’s just another reminder of the many ways I am so very selfish and self-centered.  I’m not cherishing her the way she is.  I’m not accepting Peanut for who she is (a recurring theme in my life I’m afraid) but trying to force her to be someone she’s not yet – an older version of herself.  It’s odd.  I’m always so petrified of my children growing older, so saddened in many ways (happy too) to watch them change from baby to toddler to little girl, yet I am constantly willing Peanut to do things that will make her grow up maybe a little more quickly than she needs to.

Sometimes I ask my mom about my own milestones as a child.  When did I start bathing myself?  When did I brush my own teeth?  When did I get up and make my own breakfast, dress myself, pick out my own clothes?  When did I stop being a baby and start being a little girl, a teenager, an adult?  My mom’s answer was, “when you wanted to.”  When I was ready, I just did it.  I didn’t need prodding, goading, harassing.  I just decided that I could and I wanted to.  And with that, my behaviors also changed from baby to toddler to girl to teenager to adult (well, I’m not sure I’ll ever really be an adult, but that’s a different story altogether).

My sweet Peanut is quirky and loving and sharing and fairly well behaved.  She is just the way she should be.  She will grow and change in every way that is needed as God has intended and in the time that He has intended it.  I am here to make sure she is safe, to teach, to present information, to love, to care for, to guide, and to cherish her in every stage of that development.  In the mean time, I need to stop being a baby, and grow up.

Bath Time, Baby!

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I really need to start taking some time each week to really remember the fun family times that I have, even if they were not that week but months or even years ago. So I decided to make Saturday that day!

Swimming

Kicking Feet

Yummy bubbles

Sisters Splashing

A Mourning of Celebration

So it’s my second daughter’s first birthday! Really she ought to be thankful she made it that far….I mean there were times..well, anyway. I am a bit in mourning, just as I was with my first daughter’s first birthday. I don’t know why but the first birthday brings about thoughts of loss of innocence…that sweetness. I know in reality she’s not really any different today than she was yesterday, but my mind and heart tell me that something significant happened today. She was born, yes. That was pretty significant. But now she’s on her way to becoming a little girl, to knowing the truths of life.

In some ways this brings so much sadness because she will know the wickedness of the world. But in some ways it is, I have only just come to recognize, a celebration. There are so many wonderful things that she has to look forward to….including knowing the Lord and how magnificent He is!

I’ve found more and more how selfish I am with regards to my children getting older. Yes, I don’t want them to be exposed to the wickedness (even that, in some ways is selfish..to deny them the growth that would come from such knowledge and experience). But really…I just want them for my own. I want them both to stay just the way they are with soft, sweet smelling skin, cute giggles and soft sighs, innocent eyes. I want to hear Twinkle Twinkle Little Star forever. I want them to play with toys that make lots of noise and make instruments out of pots and pans. I want my baby to be a baby. I want her to sleep in footie pajamas forever and stay small enough to sleep in her crib. I want to rock her..both of them. I want them to nuzzle me, play under the blankets, jump on the couch, ride on the dog’s back, eat cheerios off the floor, and I want them to need me. That’s it really. They love ME. Unconditionally. Right now they are the most forgiving and loving that they’ll ever be simply because they don’t know anything else. How selfish. But true.

I am reminded how God loves us. I think I couldn’t hold anymore love…any bigger a love than the love I have for my children. And it’s so very selfish…even the unselfish bits are selfish. God’s love is so different. He loves us and WANTS us to grow up in Him…to know Him, learn about Him, and have a relationship with HIM….not to stay as babies but to mature in our faith. And He wants it not just for His sake, but for OURS. I do so hope He will give me that same pure, completely unselfish desire for my children…the desire always for them to grow up.

Until then, I must say:

Lord, please let this day not end.
Lord, one more moment send.
So my children one and three
Will forever and always be.

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