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An Anniversary: Nine Years and Counting

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I simply cannot believe I’ve been married for nine years.  NINE people.  That is a long time!  (I can’t imagine how my parents feel…they’ve been married over 30).  I am amazed that we have made it through the trials we have.  I am amazed at how God has changed us and where he has brought us in nine years.  I really can look on our marriage as a story of love…of persistence, patience, heartache, healing, a story of work, of ups and downs.  I know many people who would have given up on each other long before nine years if having to endure what we have endured.  There is absolutely no human reason we should still be married….but we are.  And I am so thankful and so happy!  I have learned to view marriage differently…more than just about being in love, but about loving when there is no reason to want to.  I think our anniversary is always going to be a celebration, a landmark of where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going.  Thank you Sam for all of your hard work in our marriage and for loving me in spite of myself!  I love you!

And to commemorate, I have posted some pictures of us from the early years and added some quotes that really express how I feel about my marriage 🙂

“They asked her (Ruth Graham) did she ever think about divorce and she said, ‘No, I’ve never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage, but,’ she said, ‘I did think of murder a few times”

Billy Graham

2001 – before our first camping trip.

2001 – Honeymoon in Charleston, SC

2002 – Just a random shot.

I think this was 2001 as well.

2005

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Happy Anniversary….Kind Of

***This was written yesterday, but I didn’t get around to finish it up and post until today***

“We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.”

Phyllis Koss

My husband mentioned something to me tonight that wound up being significant. Today is an anniversary of sorts. It’s a day that reminds Bloke and I as a couple where we were a year ago and where we are now.

On this day one whole year ago, my mother drove my husband to a homeless shelter in a dangerous part of a town 45 miles away and watched him walk away with a man she didn’t know…a man my husband didn’t even know.  He had one bag filled with only the bare essentials.  On this very same day, while my mom and husband were in route to the shelter, both my girls managed to get into a Tylenol bottle for which we spent 6 hours in the emergency room of our local hospital.  It was a nightmare of a day.

Today, my husband came home from a steady job like he has for almost 6 months.  He laid on our bed in our bedroom, in our warm house with our two sweet, rambunctious, laughing children, and played with them there.  He ate with us at our kitchen table and we talked about our day.  And while our relationship is still often rocky at best, we are together.  We are making it work.  We are dedicated to making it work and to loving one another through our trials, through our fights, through the poverty.

We are laughing together again.  Trust is being rebuilt.  Lives are being repaired.  No one is living in a drafty house with windows that are covered by trashbags.  No one is rooming with 4 other men who are also homeless and of even more questionable backgrounds.  No one is sharing one heating source placed in the middle of the house.  We are home.

My oldest daughter is very astute.  Not too long ago, she asked me if daddy was going to be home for Christmas.  I suppose that somewhere in her little mind she remembers screaming out the window of our car for her daddy as we pulled away from the homeless shelter last year after spending only about an hour with him.  I suppose she remembers fighting, harsh words, anger, tension, and stress.  And I suppose she’s probably not completely over it.  I’m glad she asked.  I’m glad I could tell her that yes daddy would be here for Christmas this year.  And I’m so thankful that a year ago is not our lives today.

Loving our spouse is often not that easy or fun.  Staying married is often lots of hard work.  But both are refining processes that grow us to be less like ourselves and more like what God would have us be.  I don’t know what my future holds with Bloke, but I do know that love has kept us together.  The love may have not always been evenly distributed and surely it most likely won’t ever be, for marriage is a game of give and take.  One will always give more than the other at points.  But either way it is still love.  And true love is binding.

Anyway.  While it’s not really a day I want to remember, it’s still significant for us so happy anniversary….kind of.

“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.”

Zig Ziglar