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Monthly Archives: April 2010

Seasonal Giddiness

“Nature gives to every time and season some beauties of its own; and from morning to night, as from the cradle to the grave, it is but a succession of changes so gentle and easy that we can scarcely mark their progress.”

Charles Dickens

I have found that I get giddy when I know the seasons are changing.  Sometimes I’m that way even during the season.  I never really noticed it until this year, but I wait, in anticipation, for the changing of the seasons.  Partly, I suppose, because I am aware of what each season holds and partly because I don’t.  I don’t know if spring will be short and the flowers will die quickly or if, like this spring, we’ve had plenty of time to enjoy the new life that has sprung forth.  I also associate certain happenings with spring….Easter, the arrival of warmer weather, daylight savings time, evening walks and longer outside play, grilling out, and more time with friends.  I do this with each season.  Each season I feel giddy.  Each season I love for it’s own possibilities, it’s on uniqueness, and it’s own happenings.  Granted, I’m always a little hesitant to let go of summer, but I do (eventually) fully embrace each season.

I wonder, too, if the butterflies I feel in the pit of my stomach occur not only because of the changing of the physical seasons but also because of the changes in the seasons of my life.  Admittedly, I am not always so excited about these, but when I look forward, I do have a sense of excitement, of anticipation.  What will the next season bring?  What changes will happen?  What progress will be made?  Where will our lives be next spring?  And life is so much stranger as an adult.  As an adult, I notice the time passing, the seasons changing.  It goes more quickly with each passing year almost as if each year is getting shorter and shorter.  It helps me to think on those tough seasons of life more realistically, short and passing, despite how long they may feel at the time.

Like the changing weather, my changing life changes in so many subtle ways each day that I scarcely know it’s happening until it’s done and dusted.  Each season only lasts for a while and then it’s suddenly the next.  The actual change is subtle, but the realization is sudden.  I hope that it is always that way, that the seasons of my life will pass subtly and that I will, at some point, realize that they did.

This one actually looks kind of autumnal, but it’s really the blooms on our red maple!

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Big Bed = Big Deal

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what’s to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves… for growing up.”

The Wonder Years

I so did not want this day to come…the day when that sweet tiny little baby is big enough for a real bed.  I’m happy.  Really I am.  I’m so happy that she’s growing up, but I’m also angry that she is.  And because I missed and was totally unprepared for her transition from crib to toddler bed/daybed because Bloke did it while I went out one evening, I wanted to make the hugest deal out of Avery getting her first big girl bed with big girl bedding and most definitely a big girl attitude (good connotations here)!  I love her so much, and when she tells me she loves me right up to the moon and back, my heart melts and feels like it will explode.  I want to remember the first time she slept in this bed, the first time I finally accepted that, while she will always be my baby, she most certainly is a little girl, and there’s absolutely nothing I can do or want to do about it.

Relationship: It’s Complicated

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“Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.”

Wayne Dyer

I recently saw a facebook relationship status that said “Relationship It’s Complicated.” I was a little shocked that facebook would be so astoot as to provide such a choice.  I for one think that if a relationship is worthwhile, it will be complicated.  Complicated is usually a good thing I’ve found.  It means that two people are bringing different experiences, knowledge, wisdom, and perspectives to the table.  It means we are forced in many ways to accept people on their own terms whether we agree with them or not and if it necessary for them to change, we leave it to God and love the person anyway. It means that we have to enter the relationship with the attitude of giving not the attitude of getting.  And it means we have to know and remember that no relationship will ever be 50/50 and that you should remember that, when you’re feeling like you’re giving more than the other person, there was surely a time when they were the ones giving 80 and you were giving 20.

I am so thankful to be making friends and to have friends who are in different walks of life, who come to our complicated relationship with different perspectives and experiences, and who love and care about me despite myself.  I would personally find myself difficult to deal with in a relationship, which makes me even more appreciative that people even bother to deal with me 🙂  I know that all of my relationships are complicated.  They force me to think, to pray, to grow, to love, to learn, to be less controlling and less anal, and I think all of those are good things.  They help me to be a better me.

Here’s some pictures of some complicated and maybe some not as complicated relationships.  You can decide which is which.

Magic Tricks – An Easter Story

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6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.

Matthew 28:6

I am always impressed to hear how pastors retell the same old Bible stories in different ways and with different perspectives every year. The Christmas and Easter stories are the most widely known stories by Christians and non Christians alike.

Today I was touched and impacted greatly by the Easter sermon. It has never occured to me that the stone was not removed so that Jesus could get out. It was removed so that everyone could see in and to eventually learn that He had risen! It wasn’t a magic trick. It was the resurrection! Mary surely didn’t believe at first that Jesus was alive again. Surely she doubted until she actually saw the risen Savior. We all would. Any normal person would think that His body was stolen until we saw Him in person! When she saw Jesus, she knew He was (and is) the risen Savior! What a glorious sight that must have been!

What then shall we say of ourselves as Christians on Easter? Are we resurrected with Christ? Is that what people see? It never occurred to me really until today’s sermon that people don’t believe in the resurrection of Jesus Christ NOT because it’s so unbelievable but because they don’t see the resurrection in US . If you believe that Christ is your Savior who has rescued you from sin and slavery and death, your life should reflect that. But really, we so often do not reflect that we are Christians.

If you know our Easter story from last year then you will be happy to know that this year’s is SOOOOO much better even than that!  Our lives, our family, our marriage….all resurrected!  My husband…resurrected!  There are not many people in our lives that truly know what our family has been through, the hurt, the pain, the hatred, the ugliness that was our marriage and our lives.  Those of you that do know and those of you that don’t, know this – God is most definitely alive and real and Jesus most definitely saved us!  I know that He heals, that He changes, that He loves.  And if He can do it for us, I know that He can for anyone.

Here’s our Easter picture.  The girls just simply did not want to cooperate for photos today so I went ahead and posted our funniest one!

And the reason we are the above mentioned family:

They Rock My World! They Know They Do!

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Yesterday morning I was FINALLY able to do a spring photo shoot with the girls! I was a little apprehensive since every time I plan to do this, they simply do not cooperate and I wind up only a few (at best) good pictures and am usually disappointed. However, they had so much fun at this old building in our town. I think the lollipops kind of helped…oh yeah, and threats that if they didn’t do what mommy wanted, we wouldn’t go to the park afterward. You know, bribery is looking better and better as they get older 😉