A year ago today I awoke on a cot in the back room of my parents’ small house. I had (and our two girls) moved away from my husband into a house only a mile or so away from my parents. We were solely provided for by them. We had packed up the day before and brought everything down here in the dark to this empty house. But on this day, we moved in. My husband was left in a pretty empty two floor apartment with no job, no money, no transportation, and not much food. There was a reason, but it didn’t matter. It was a very sad, heart wrenching day. My husband and I were separated on my birthday.
On this day in 2006, my husband, first daughter, and I went to my OB for that special ultrasound appointment…the one that was to tell us whether we were having a girl or a boy. It was an exciting day! We were excited. As we watched the ultrasound technician do her scan and take her pictures, imminent doom clouded the room. The doctor took forever to come. She brought tissues. On my birthday in 2006, we found out that we were having a baby boy, that he was dying, and that I could die too if we didn’t terminate the pregnancy. We named our baby Sebastian David. I gave birth to him 2 weeks later at 19 and a bit weeks pregnant.
On this day in 1980, I was born. I made two people fairly happy…at least for the first 12 years of life. Then I became a teenager. 😉 I was born healthy and my birth was non-traumatic. My mom had no epidural and says that the pain wasn’t that bad. I personally believe that she’s just forgotten how bad it really was!
Today, on my birthday, my husband and I have reunited as a couple and our family is together. He is no longer in a homeless shelter or jobless. Our children have a father, a real father who sacrifices for them every day. He loves them, plays with them, talks with them, teaches them, bathes them, adores them. And I have a husband again, a real husband who works hard and endures our poorness so I can stay home with our children, who humors me by taking us places and doing things with our family that he might not particularly like. On my birthday I don’t have to sleep in the bed alone. I have more people to cook for, more people to care for. I won’t have to dread Thanksgiving, Christmas or my daughters’ birthdays because we are a family now and we will get to go through those things together. Our family is far from perfect, and my husband and I still have a long way to go before we can say our marriage is great, but I can say that life is 150% better than it was this time last year.
Our house is filled with shrilly screams of sweet little girls and pitter pattering feet, with discussions of work, school, life, and religion. It’s filled with the smells of dinner and fabric softener, with smelly work boots, and Pine Sol. From our screened in patio, you can hear music booming, daddy and children laughing, and lots of loud noises. I hope these changes stay forever. I hope the rain has stopped pouring and that the sun will be out for at least a little while. After all, it is my birthday.