I remember when you used to make me grits with bacon, scrambled eggs, and Tang. I remember when you used to hold my face and tell my I was “beautiful” and “precious”. I remember when you took me to see The Little Mermaid and comforted me when we got back and I cried to go home. I remember when you came and picked me up from North Carolina School for the Arts and bought me groceries…everything that I loved. I remember sliding down your stairs and playing in your chair. I remember late night coke floats, whispery talks at your kitchen table, and slide shows of all the places you had been. I remember your smell. I remember watching you read your Bible in the evenings. I remember your love echoing through our family and through your home, through your friends and your church. I remember your spunky nature. I remember our family the way it was then.
I remember that day…that dreaded day. The day when I had grown older, too old and too young to appreciate you. The day you visited and the last day I ever said hello and goodbye to you. I remember, shamefully, being ready to go prom dress shopping. I remember not thinking about death. I remember coming home to cars and people and dad. I remember the words he said. I remember your funeral days after.
I wonder what you would think of me now. Would I still be your so highly regarded granddaughter? Would you still call me precious and beautiful? What would you think of my character? My mistakes? What would you have said to all my wrongs? My choices? Would I still be the apple of your eye? Would you still call me Elizabeth Anne, and would that name still sound sweet? What would you think of my life at this very moment?
It is not the anniversary of your death. It is just another day, another night. Another day where I remember and miss you. I love you.
My grandparents and me.
Grandma in Jerusalem.
My grandma brought me back a doll from every country or state they visited. I have probably over 80 dolls.
Their last trip together before the car accident on February 7, 1997. They were driving home from visiting us in Louisburg. They were hit by a careless driver who had apparently bent down to get his floor mat unstuck from the pedal. The driver had several DUIs on his record. He received a ticket. My grandparents would have celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary that year.