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Confessions of a Serial Sinner

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If you love me, you will keep My commandments. John 14:15

I’ve been contemplating this post for a while now…a while being a few days. I knew I wanted to talk about it but I just didn’t know how. Then I read a devotional today with the above verse and it all came together.  It just popped out at me.  I made me think not really about my “big” sins that I tend to not do again but more about my “little” ones.  What sins do I commit against the Lord every single (or almost) day and consistently ask forgiveness for?  And if I’m continuing to do them am I really sorry for them?  Am I aware of how they pain God?  And, worse, what does my serial sinning say about my love of the Lord?

You know the sins I’m talking about.  Sins like not spending quiet time with the Lord, speeding, overeating.  Or even sins even bigger sins that you may do on a regular basis that you don’t want your church friends to know about.  I don’t know.  All I know is that they are there.  And my “please forgive me, Lord for not spending the time with you that I should” prayer is just not cutting it.  I mean, really, when I don’t start and end my day with the Lord, I’m not putting Him first.  When I don’t devote at least a small amount of my “down” time with Him, I’m not giving Him my best, my first fruits.  This should not just apply to tithing.  This should apply to everything.  It’s the sins that we’re nonchalantly asking forgiveness for on a regular basis that should make us stop and think about our relationship with the Lord, the sins that are constant and unchanging that should bring us to our knees.  I mean it’s obvious that “big” sins should bring us to our knees.  But those are the ones we tend to change first.  What about all that “little”‘ stuff?

I have sins that I battle with every day….unforgiveness, control, overeating, lack of devotional time, frustration, raising my voice.  At what point do these “smaller” sins become big?  When I have a heart attack?  When I hit out of anger?  When a relationship falls apart?  I HOPE NOT!!  They should be big NOW!  I should be begging the Lord to make these kinds of sins huge in my life and convicting so that I can obey His commands better and grow in Him more.  More importantly, I should ask for my love, my passion, my ultimate desire to be Him and Him alone so that I want to eradicate these bad areas of my life and heart.  Because if I haven’t made a point to not commit these acts again, then I obviously am not devoting enough time to He who can show them to me, convict me of  them, and give me the strength to overcome them which, in turn, means I’m not loving Him enough and not close enough to Him to let Him do it!

I love my God.  But I don’t love Him enough.  I probably never will.  I’m always going to have sin that is uncommitted to Christ.  Thank you, Lord, that we are not rewarded by our works (or lack of) but by Your grace!  Thank You for dying for every single sin I commit against You, the ones I recognize and the ones I don’t.

“We obey God not out of duty or fear or compulsion but because we love him…”  -Rick Warren

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2 responses »

  1. Thank God that He loves us no matter what…. no matter how big or little, or how many times a day we mess up. Just take little steps at a time… then you’ll get closer to where you want to be. We’ll never be perfect, I know what you mean, we all deal with it. Don’t feel alone or down about it. This was a good encouragement for me to check myself though, so thank you!

    🙂
    ~Tabitha~

    freshmommyblog.com

    Reply
  2. *Wild Applause* This was such a good post. I struggle with the sin of not devoting time to him as well as so many more.

    This was so well written! You really made me think.

    Reply

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