3“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5
So this week at counseling is my personal one-on-one time to admit all my sins. Wow am I totally psyched about that. Through my preparations for this session, I’ve discovered just how spec-like I have considered the wrongs I’ve committed against my husband…especially compared to what he’s done. Right? I mean I’m the LEAST to blame for our struggles and conflict right? I think not. I’ve learned that my specs are not specs but planks…they really are. Why? Because despite the “size” of my sin, it still hinders me from seeing clearly the sin of others which, in turn, makes my sins planks (or logs…either way very big). I’m blind. Who am I to judge others’ sin when my sin is so blinding? My views of others’ sins (i.e. Bloke’s) are distorted. This is not to say his sin is greater or lesser to contribute to our difficulties…only to say that I am not one to judge. Only Christ can righteously judge our sins because he is the only perfect person.
You know you’ve done it. In a store most likely. You’ve seen the lower class lady with five children who are all barely clothed, no father (or at least no ring on her finger), and pregnant standing in the check out line. Not to mention the children are probably unruly and dirty. Or the rich woman with all the nice, name brand garments and accessories who is snooty, rude, and generally not very nice. You know you’ve thought it if you haven’t said it. Maybe not either of those specific examples but there is an example in your life somewhere. You know that, at some point, you HAVE judged someone. Don’t worry. You’re not alone. I am 100% certain that the only person in history that did not unrighteously judge someone was Jesus. Everyone else, you’re guilty.
Another point is, while you’re judging that other person, are you looking at you? How do you look to others? Are you blameless? What are YOU doing that others can judge? And how does it feel to be judged? I’m sure you know that too. I know I do. As a Christian, it is my job to look at ME first…my sin, my witness, my example. I have to be right with the Lord AND with man. This is not to say that I give in to worldly things or influences. It’s only to say that I should make every effort to be at peace and remain at peace with everyone.
This is a difficult task. Analyzing and admitting who you REALLY are and what you’ve done and recognizing that your sin is great is daunting at best. Even worse, everyone wants to be right. It’s nice to be right, right? You can flaunt it, be smug, and even use it for later conflicts. No one wants to admit that they’re wrong. However, God commands this of me: love thy neighbor as thyself (Matt. 22:39)…the golden rule. Playing target practice with your fellow man’s sin is not really loving them. It’s also not really loving YOU.
So, while I’m pretty nervous about admitting my part, my role, in the separation of Bloke and myself, I’m glad I have the opportunity to do it. And I’m glad that I see my sins now (no matter how small they may seem to others even) as planks and not specs. And it’s kind of relieving to be able to say that. I get to once again see the redeeming love of my Savior guide me through this process and bless me at the other side of it. I know that my marriage will benefit from the task of hashing through areas of my life that need work and my contributions to our marital struggles. I know this because, by confessing, I am following the commands of the Lord and He promises to bless those who believe and are obedient to Him. I know this because He has blessed Bloke and I already.
1“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2
So if you have a spec in your eye, you may want to reconsider the view.