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Monthly Archives: January 2009

What Have You Done!


So I don’t want to get out of the habit of blogging since my friend Ronnica would be so disappointed, but I really don’t have anything deeply personal to say at this moment. I found this idea randomly off of another blog.  It really reminded me of the “Bucket List” movie…except I’m not dying and I’m not rich…oh, yeah, and I probably won’t get a lot of them done.  Maybe it’s not really like that at all.  Fun idea though-you just BOLD the things on the list that you have done. Play along if you want! I was surprised by how many things I actually HAD done in my life and am hopeful that there a bunch of them I will one day have the opportunity to do!

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not sick.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagra Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen and Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to truly be satisfied.
38. Seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served in a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the changing of the guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Been to the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the paper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. (Um.. ewww.)
88. Had Chicken pox.
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Five Interview Questions

Today I am answering five interview questions asked by my friend Ronnica (bloggy and real life friend, author of Ignorant Historian blog). So here goes!

1.When did you come to know Jesus personally? Can you tell the story?
Actually I can’t. I don’t remember when I came to know Christ personally. I know it should be this monumental occasion, a date which you remember, but I don’t. I just always remember believing…from childhood. And while, I’ve had periods of time in my life (a couple of long ones) where I’ve strayed, I’ve always come back to recommit my life to Him. I hope that with the support of my church I will never stray that far again…or at all.

2. Grapefruit: good or bad?
I love red grapefruit but not regular. I don’t usually buy it though because it’s too time consuming to cut and dig out all the fruit. I’ll sometimes buy the jarred kind or the juice.

3. What’s the hardest part about the last year, and what helped you get through it?
Wow…this is tough as I had so many tough parts to last year. If I had to list the top two toughest, though, I would say that helplessly watching and witnessing my marriage (and husband) deteriorate would be one. Listening to my husband plead with me to come pick him up from the homeless shelter and telling him no would be the next. I think I knew that all of the other tough things (colicky baby and two big moves) were things that I could handle and that the stress would pass….and there was no significant hurt as result of those things. I made it through by leaning on my church, praying lots, the counsel of my friends and family, and by striving to trust in the Lord and remember that He is in control all the time.

4. What’s most surprised you about being a mom (about yourself, the mommy tasks, or just about your sweet girls)?
I’ve been surprised since the moment Avery was born at how adept I am at being a mom. I was a VERY abrupt, impatient, opinionated, strong willed teenager and young woman and I was very surprised to take on the role of motherhood so easily. When I graduated from highschool I knew that one day I wanted to be a wife and mom…but mostly I wanted a career. Now being a wife and mom IS my career and it’s so much better than a career outside the home could ever have been!

5. If you could only watch one TV show for the rest of your life, which would you choose?
This is probably the most difficult of all of them! I think it’d have to be House…as long as there were always new episodes. I couldn’t watch the reruns forever!

Musings of a Multi tasking Mom

So maybe these aren’t really musings but questions. I go out with the girls (a baby and a three year old) every Tuesday. We go to the mall and then we get groceries. I do this by myself and well today I just really have some questions about some obstacles I had.

1. Why is the toilet paper so LOW on the wall in public restrooms? I mean, really. Do you know what it’s like to try and unfasten your pants, sit, do the business, wipe and fasten back up all while holding a baby? Higher toilet paper would help!

2. Why doesn’t every single handicap stall have the baby changing station in it? Why would you put it by the door to the restroom so people bump you when they walk in? Also that could be used to sit baby on while doing the business.

3. How exactly am I supposed to get my hands washed or my three year old’s hands washed while holding the baby AND if the sink is too high for three year old? Provide a step please!

4. Why would anyone (or rather HOW) actually break the restraints on the shopping cart? And shouldn’t they be fixed so my baby isn’t standing up pulling everything off the shelves as we pass by?

5. Why would a thin, non handicap woman with absolutely no children and no bags have an excuse to use the handicap restroom while a larger woman with two children was waiting for it?

6.  If I’m walking on the right side of the parking lot with a baby, a three year old, and a shopping cart in the rain towards you and you’re walking down the left side of the parking lot with nothing and an umbrella towards me, shouldn’t you be the one that moves?  I mean didn’t we learn that in grade school?

7.  Is there a particular reason why children suddenly need everything under the sun when you’re on the phone?

8.  Why is it ok for a cop to drive and talk on his cell phone but it’s not ok for me?  And speeding?  I mean can a cop give another cop a ticket?

Well, I would like some answers people!  I’m not bitter…really, I’m not. : )  I’m just confused!

Borrowed Babies

I was so privileged to be able to organize a baby shower for one of my good friends recently. It was a fun time of celebration of the up and coming arrival of a new baby. I love love love babies. I love how they smell, how they look, how they cry, all their little expressions. They’re just wonderful! And I love the beauty of a pregnant mother. Not all moms-to-be have that glow, but my friend definitely does, and her growing belly is a constant reminder of God’s grace, provision, love, and power.

I am always aware that my babies are not mine to have. No baby belongs to it’s parents. They are borrowed treasures from the Lord. They are gifts that have to be given back. We should rejoice that the Lord blesses us with such an honor. How grateful I am to be a mom! And how wonderful it is that my babies are not my own but His..the Creator’s, the Author’s, the Protector’s. I pray that His will be done with them because I just know that mine will fail them. I hope that my friend’s motherhood (and the father’s fatherhood) is blessed with this same awareness…awesomeness…that I have that our children are borrowed!



An Apple A Day…

does NOT keep the doctor away. I mean where did that phrase come from? I know apples have a lot of nutrients but so do pomegranates, bananas, oranges. Why apples? I mean does an orange a day keep the dentist away? (actually, apples WOULD be better for that)

Anyway, I had to take my one year old for her one year check up and shots yesterday. I found out several things: 1. She has a VERY high pain threshold 2. So high that she’s had two ear infections apparently for quite some time because there’ve been no signs of her being in pain and 3. there’s a reason God gave mothers a motherly instinct…and that is to not listen to the doctors when they say something stupid.

My doctor insisted that I not continue to give my daughter her nightly bottle. She said I could give her milk in a sippy cup as long as I brush her teeth afterward (yeah, at 10 pm when she’s still half asleep). So I conceded to the milk instead of the formula, but I thought that she wouldn’t take it. I didn’t feel comfortable about it because I told the doctor that she doesn’t really like milk all that much, but I thought I’d compromise. Big mistake. One of those smile and nod moments where I should have left the office and done exactly what I wanted to do. My dear sweet daughter awoke screaming her head off three times last night. She’s hungry. I tried the bottle with milk and she apparently wasn’t having any of that (I could tell by the way she let all the milk fall out of her mouth, down her sweet little face and onto..well, me). So I nursed her (something apparently this pediatrician wasn’t too thrilled that I was still doing even after I told her I was only doing it because my baby doesn’t take milk well and I didn’t want her to be dehydrated). She said a child will not let her/himself get dehydrated. WHAT?! Does she have kids? My first child would starve herself until I nursed her…I mean hours upon hours. She wouldn’t take a bottle AT ALL…EVER. My sweet angel #2 is just as strong willed. It is entirely likely that she would refuse liquids until she did get dehydrated.

So, on with the story. I finally wound up making a bottle (at like 3 am…haven’t done that in a while) to give her which she sucked down and went to sleep. Now I know that every mother doesn’t tap into their instinct and I know that sometimes (stress sometimes : )) mothers are wrong (although mine never has been….my mom is right…even when she’s wrong), but really, it’s MY baby. I know when she’s ready for certain things. I’m not going to push her to be a two foot adult. She doesn’t need to read before she can walk. She doesn’t need to eat with a full set of cutlery before she can eat all table food. I mean really people.

So, I still have learned so much through this experience. I am reminded that the Lord starts us off with the milk of His Spirit. And like a parent, He knows when we’re ready for the heavy stuff. And we are all too often the strong willed baby that likes the easy way of the milk. So when it’s time, and we’re done being hard headed, we’ll learn that the grown up food is so much better.

I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. 1 Corinthians 3:2

Mama Said There’d Be Days Like This

I know we’ve all had “those days”…you know, those days that go wrong from the moment you wake up to pretty much the moment you go to bed. Well, I’m kind of having one of those days….I’ve certainly had worse, but I think this one can still fit the category of a day that you hope ends soon. We’ll I’ve decided to change my attitude when I have a day like I’m having today. Instead of griping about what all went wrong. I’m going to list all the things I’m REALLY thankful for today so here goes:

1. I’m thankful my smoke alarm is disconnected.
2. I’m thankful the toilet is at least somewhat clean.
3. I’m thankful I have a dog (i.e. vacuum cleaner)
4. I’m thankful someone made liquid plumber and thank God for whoever that is.
5. I’m thankful God made people who actually want to be plumbers.
6. I’m thankful I’m not an alcoholic (because I’d totally have been at the bar by around 9 am this morning!)
7. I’m thankful that both my children still take naps (and at about the same time!)
8. I’m thankful that my bad-for-you lunch burned because I didn’t need that in my diet anyway.
9. I’m thankful for washable markers, crayons, and for Shrek and TV
10. I’m thankful that the dog actually peed and came back instead of chasing the behind of the dog up the street…in the snow.
11. I’m thankful that while my mixer is smoking and doesn’t work, at least my coffee maker does.
12. I’m thankful that my daughter actually had a bowel movement in the toilet instead of her panties…or worse, the floor (yes it’s happened).
13. Finally, I am SO thankful that, eventually, this day will end and we can try again tomorrow!


Whatta Piece of Junk!

Every time something in my possession breaks I’m constantly reminded of Luke Skywalker’s comment when he first sees the Millenium Falcon (owned by who else but Harrison Ford..I mean Han Solo), “What a piece of junk!”. I’m not exactly sure WHY I think this since the Falcon actually worked (well, at least most of the time) which is more than I can say for my car.

I mean, really, let me rant a bit. WHY does a car break right after it’s paid off? Of course my car breaks most of the time. As a matter of fact we could have probably bought a couple of nice used cars with the money we (or rather, my parents) have put into it. However, this is just another humbling experience for me.

I am so very grateful for my piece of junk. My parents made most of the payments. They even kept it serviced and have put tons of money into it to fix all the broken parts. Many many many people don’t have a car. They walk or (gasp!) take public transportation…even ride bikes in crazy weather. How fortunate I am not to have to do any of those things! One day, my car will be new again because we will have fixed everything on it!

It makes me think about us as humans. Now, I’m sure God doesn’t look at us and think, “what a piece of junk!” because as we know God don’t make junk. But in a lot of ways we are like my car. Once one thing is fixed another breaks. When one bad habit goes, another emerges. When one attitude dissipates another one erupts. We are (or should be) in a constant state of brokenness and fixing. Except the Lord is our mechanic. How wonderful that one day, we will be perfect! No more fixing! How I long for that day…and so possibly does my car!

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Philippians 3:12

Uber Inconvenient

My water heater has been leaking pretty much since I moved in three months ago. So I finally decided to say something about it. Now the men are out here today fixing it. I thought it’d be a little thirty minute job but it’s not. It’s turning into a two maybe even three hour one. AND they came right when I was needing to wash dishes.

Now, I don’t have a dishwasher which is incredibly inconvenient all by itself…especially with two young children who not only dirty up fifty million sippy cups and bottles but, of course, need me every second that I’m washing. Today however, it was even MORE inconvenient because I had no hot water! I had to do them. The dishes were growing by the second…taking over my tiny little kitchen and some were even growing little planets on them. SO, I boiled water…inconvenient is not even the word. I can’t take a shower. I can’t really cook. Very very inconvenient. I’ve noticed that I’ve been affected by things like this recently.

Yesterday was my daughter’s first birthday and my parents were coming over last night just so I didn’t have to celebrate with my two daughters alone. Well, they were late (I don’t know why I was so surprised), and my birthday girl was getting tired. I was ill. So after leaving several ill tempered messages on my parents’ cell phones and house phone, they showed up….with dinner, balloons, and a rather large very cute gift for the birthday girl. After they both had worked all day..a long day..they came celebrated, put the toy together, took pictures and everything. And the birthday girl did fine. She got her second wind and was good to go! Don’t I feel like a horrible daughter at this point.

Anyway, these little things have made me think about how inconvenienced Christ was. I mean it was probably pretty inconvenient to walk on water, feed five thousand people (I have issues with two), heal sick people. It was probably really inconvenient to be constantly sought after (for good and bad reasons), to hardly ever have any alone time, to put everyone else before himself all the time. And I’m thinking it was probably REALLY inconvenient to be crucified….to walk all that way carrying a cross, to endure such emotional and physical pain. So that kind of puts me in my place. Because I don’t think I will EVER be THAT inconvenienced. Thank you Lord!!

A Mourning of Celebration

So it’s my second daughter’s first birthday! Really she ought to be thankful she made it that far….I mean there were times..well, anyway. I am a bit in mourning, just as I was with my first daughter’s first birthday. I don’t know why but the first birthday brings about thoughts of loss of innocence…that sweetness. I know in reality she’s not really any different today than she was yesterday, but my mind and heart tell me that something significant happened today. She was born, yes. That was pretty significant. But now she’s on her way to becoming a little girl, to knowing the truths of life.

In some ways this brings so much sadness because she will know the wickedness of the world. But in some ways it is, I have only just come to recognize, a celebration. There are so many wonderful things that she has to look forward to….including knowing the Lord and how magnificent He is!

I’ve found more and more how selfish I am with regards to my children getting older. Yes, I don’t want them to be exposed to the wickedness (even that, in some ways is deny them the growth that would come from such knowledge and experience). But really…I just want them for my own. I want them both to stay just the way they are with soft, sweet smelling skin, cute giggles and soft sighs, innocent eyes. I want to hear Twinkle Twinkle Little Star forever. I want them to play with toys that make lots of noise and make instruments out of pots and pans. I want my baby to be a baby. I want her to sleep in footie pajamas forever and stay small enough to sleep in her crib. I want to rock her..both of them. I want them to nuzzle me, play under the blankets, jump on the couch, ride on the dog’s back, eat cheerios off the floor, and I want them to need me. That’s it really. They love ME. Unconditionally. Right now they are the most forgiving and loving that they’ll ever be simply because they don’t know anything else. How selfish. But true.

I am reminded how God loves us. I think I couldn’t hold anymore love…any bigger a love than the love I have for my children. And it’s so very selfish…even the unselfish bits are selfish. God’s love is so different. He loves us and WANTS us to grow up in Him…to know Him, learn about Him, and have a relationship with HIM….not to stay as babies but to mature in our faith. And He wants it not just for His sake, but for OURS. I do so hope He will give me that same pure, completely unselfish desire for my children…the desire always for them to grow up.

Until then, I must say:

Lord, please let this day not end.
Lord, one more moment send.
So my children one and three
Will forever and always be.


Funny Coffee

You know there are some things that are kosher to laugh at…farting, toilet paper hanging from your pants, undone zippers, and the like. Cancer isn’t one of them. Yet, I cackled when I read my Starbucks coffee cup today. I don’t know why. I guess I felt like if the person who wrote it could laugh at it then it was kosher for me to. Here’s what it said:
The Way I See It #295
Can we laugh at caner? Is it funny to lose your breasts? Am I crazy to have humor when I lose my hair? Should I ignore the giggles while receiving chemo? What if I nudge someone and sneak a smile, even though I have no eyebrows? Is it inappropriate? Don’t be offended, it beats waxing!

-Julie Wade, Starbucks customer and cancer survivor from Seattle, Washington

Wow. Did you laugh? I still want to cackle when I reread it. Why I suppose. Not sure. Just a lighter interesting note for today.